This was shared with us by a fellow colleague and we thought it was funny and a great way to start off the week (on a funny note!). Enjoy and please feel free to share!
Proposed New Living Will Form
I, _______________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn’t pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers, doctors, and hospitals interested in running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
__ a Martini
__ a Margarita
__ a Scotch and Soda
__ a Bloody Mary
__ a Gin and Tonic
__ a Glass of Chardonnay
__ a Steak
__ Lobster or Crab Legs
__ the Remote Control
__ a Bowl of Ice Cream
__ the Sports page
__ Chocolate or,
It should be presumed that I won’t ever get any better.
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.
Signature: _____________________________ Date: ___________
NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a nursing home with a pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don’t even need embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy place, PLEASE pass it on.